At age 2 or 3, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, my response was that I wanted to be “Daddy”. I remembered my siblings (as I have a couple of older ones) asked me this question too many times. Not that I knew what I was saying but I just couldn’t think of being anyone else than my Dad. Maybe because I saw my dad dressed well to work, drove his car to work, dropped us off in school, listened to all types of cool music or whatever. But I remembered vividly that was always my response.

As I grew older that changed. At age 6-7 or thereabout, I wanted to join the military. Thanks to IBB and a series of war movies I had seen. As I was rounding up grade school, I became more aware of my Dad’s profession and where he worked. My Dad was an Accountant but I never wanted to be an Accountant. However, I conceived a dream to want to work in a multinational like he did. Every time we drove pass his office during our weekend outings, I always dreamt of working in that type of organization. I saw the beautiful ambience and the greenery within the company premises and for me that was the standard. He often took us to his Boss’ (Mr. Adeyemi) house for parties. That man’s house was mighty and still one of the finest houses I have seen. Swimming pool and anything you wanted. Mere looking at Mr. Adeyemi, I had dreams and hopes for my Dad too. At age 8, my mom had a lovely 40^th birthday get-to-together for my dad in our living room with close family friends and I conceived that when I want to have my own 40^th, it would be a large party. Call KSA if possible. **smiles**. My dad made very good friends. Friends, we the kids began to call ourselves cousins. In a way, it was a safe approach for him to decide his children’s friends. I could tell my Dad I was with the Olawales or Eyiowuawis and he was just comfortable. I always dreamt of building such close knitted relationship with a few friends.

Sometime in 1995, my parents became a Christian and we often had a session of prayer at home where everyone (from the oldest to the youngest) was told to pray and on one occasion my Dad asked my younger cousin to pray before me. My older ones interjected and pointed to him he had skipped me and he calmly responded “you don’t have to worry about Lekan. He will spend all his life praying to God”. My eyes popped open wondering what is this? But that stuck. I grew up to realize the only place I find fulfilment is interacting with God. At a time when I struggled with my homework, my dad was the one who said if you ever have a brain block in the examination hall, as long as you have prepared well prior to the exam, just say a short prayer and God will remind you. Hmm…I grew up seeing exam questions in my dream.

In my late teenage years, apparently my dad was also getting older (clocked 50 when I was 16). He had become a Christian in his 40s but still had a relatively good social life. Somehow in the wake of him clocking 50, his house got burnt and I think that changed his entire outlook to life. It appeared to me after that incident, he threw away his social life. All that mattered to him became his faith. I felt somehow. He still attended social events but you could tell they really were no longer priorities for him. I was just getting into my late teenage adventures- I wanted to party. I kept my Afro and sometime braided my hair. On one occasion he ordered me to bring my Afro down and I was quick to remind him of his youthful days. At that point, I didn’t want to be like my Dad but where can I run to? Having attended the same church for a while, I opted to attend a church that would allow my teenage energy and he grudgingly allowed. I decided to find God myself. In that quest, I also began to take my Christianity seriously despite we differed on a lot of things.

Fast forward to the 2000s, I got into OAU and I knew I was stuck on God (Oh how I miss those days). I often bought tapes of sermon preached by student pastors and shared with my dad when I got home and he actually listened. After listening, he would walk out of his room asking me, were you in those services or you just bought the tapes and I was going to respond yes, I was. In retrospect, maybe he felt my life wasn’t showing as much depth as the sermon he just listened to. To be honest I wasn’t his regular Christian. I had a lot of Afro and often braided my hair. I wasn’t wearing shirt, trousers and shoes. I was wearing baseball jerseys, Baggies and Sneakers. I remember those days driving his car or my mom’s car around. In the days when would drive our parents’ cars to go see girls and the girls would be impressed. He called me one day and said boy, don’t let these girls turn your 40days journey to 40years. Tell them you have a long way to go. This left me with a psychology to scrutinize all the ladies I dated. The reverse was that he also felt I needed to be very patient with ladies. That left me in a lot of conundrum because it was hard for me to differentiate the lady that required patience from the one that was hell bent because in my dating days, if a lady suggested derailing me, girl.. we were done! A few times he was going to quote verses from Proverbs. One that scared and still scares the life out of me – Proverbs 7:21-27.

My Dad spent 25years working in one organization till he retired. Yes, he got some funds and gifts but I didn’t want to spend 25 years working in one place. Well…is it my fault? If I had been raised in a mud house, in a polygamous home, by uneducated parents, somewhere in Osun state where voodoo was flying all around and narrowly made it out to the type of multinational where he worked maybe I would have stayed 40yrs there. Lesson learnt: never judge anyone until you know where they are coming from. But what did this teenage boy know? I was bent on finishing school early and getting a job and let me add an Official Car. I remember at 16, after one of our house fellowships, I told my Dad, I said I would get into Unilag this year, and run a 4 year course, finish at 20, NYSC at 21, first Job with an official car at 22 and marry at 23. I remember that Sunday evening like it was yesterday and my dad smiled and said that is a good plan but life is not that straight forward. I grew to know that. JAMB jammed me, Unilag didn’t admit me, OAU admitted me later but ASUU strike struck me and I finished school at 23.

I was posted to Katsina for NYSC and I just didn’t see why I should go to the North. In my typical fashion, I came back to Lagos and my dad just kept observing. One day he asked me when do you plan returning to your service post, I said I am not returning and he just looked away but I knew he didn’t approve of that but probably just felt right now, you are an adult- your choice.  In my heart I was having arguments with God. I knew God wanted me to complete my service year but I didn’t see any justification. One day I woke up and said you know what Dad, I am returning to Katsina. My Dad said it makes a lot of sense to do what you have to do and do it the right way. In my mind, I was like why is this man like this? I went to Katsina and met a friend I developed a great relationship with. He is one of the thought leaders in the aviation industry in Nigeria now. James and my Dad built a father-son relationship you will almost think I met James through my Dad.

Completed NYSC and landed a job in a one-man business but my dad had put a vision of a Multinational in my heart so what was I doing in a one-man business. In all fairness, looking back, that was a fairly good job because it had proper structure and a nice building too. Two months after,  I resigned from the job against my Dad’s advice. I thought I was smart. Oh, foolish me! Young and Strong-willed. I thought he was trying to clone me to be him. I didn’t want to spend 25years in one organization. I thought I was going to get another job easily. Common this is Nigeria. I spent the next two years just volunteering for NGOs. I resented my Dad because it became obvious he was right saying-  “You are a man; you will be responsible for your family. You can’t quit a job before getting another one simply because you don’t like some things in the organization”. I eventually got another job after two years and it was still a one-man business. Tougher one. I was literally walking on a thin rope for two years. Afraid of being fired. Salary delayed. Bought a camera at one time as an escape incase, I got fired. Lesson learnt- with God, you will have to deal with your troubles. You run but you can’t hide. I was disgruntled. I remember telling the Human resource manager that salaries are meant to be paid on the 24^th of the month since that was what I saw growing up and the guy often responded – “Richard you are too idealistic”. Well it happened that I was being realistic but just passing through a phase.

Two years later, I got the multinational I was dreaming of. First name basis, salaries paid on the 24^th.  But you know what, poppa was gone. Success doesn’t really feel like success if the person who set you on that part is not around to share the glory with you.