Tag: family

My First Encounter with a Sense of Responsibility – Happy Birthday Akin!

On By richardolatunjiLeave a comment

It was April 9th sometime in the mid 80s and my parents had just arrived from the Clinic in their Brown Peugeot 504. I was just three years old and they have arrived with this little piece of beauty wrapped in a White Swaddle. Is it awkward I remember these details? Then the Naming ceremony, I have some faint recollection too as I remember they had those tent outside. My reign as the last born had just come to an end and now I have a dark skinned younger brother. Akinola was born.

My younger brother of whom I love dearly would be the first person to teach me responsibility. We are just 3yrs apart but I don’t know if it was the love I had for him or the strictness of my parents that used him to teach me that much responsibility at a young age despite I had three other older siblings. Myself and Akin would eventually go to the same elementary school and a few events stood out with me. Growing up, Akin appeared to be the studious guy in the family. He was the only one my dad would commend for not needing reminder to read his books. In the days when we were muslims and we had those Imams come to the house to pray for my family and they had a bowl on the floor where my parents put in some money, Only Akin had the guts to ask the Imams what they did with the money. When we became christians, while the rest of us would listen to secular songs, Akin was the one keen on those gospel songs we found boring in those days and as we grew older, before Bible App became a thing, every time I needed to remember a bible verse, Akin was my go to. All I needed to do was to remind him of a story around the verse I was thinking of.

But Akin wasn’t all sweet. There were days I struggled with the level of responsibility my parents placed on myself and Toke (my immediate older sister) for Akin. For example, cleaning up for Akin after he pooped. Why should that be my own responsibility? I was also but a child. Those days, we the last three kids (Toke, myself and Akin) attended the same elementary school and required our dad to drop us off every morning while we joined the school bus home after school but my two older brothers attended a different school so they would have left for their school earlier. The modus operandi was such that we (the last three) got ready before my dad and while waiting for Dad to be ready, that is when Akin sneaks to the washroom to poop. When he is done, he begins to call for assistance to clean up and that meant myself and Toke alternated that responsibility. I hated that task but I had no choice so I would have given him one heck of a side-eye howbeit, do what I needed to do.

I wasn’t just responsible for him, I also stole some of his Biscuits (Cookies) until I was caught. My mom made a big deal of it but I was just but a child. Writing this, I had to laugh out remembering one of those incidents when I was caught stealing one of his biscuits(cookies). Maybe that is why I still don’t like Biscuits today. Had too much for a lifetime. Toke (my older sister) was going to graduate from our elementary school to go to college and I was left alone with my younger brother. I think that was when my level of responsibility for him got heightened up. I remember beating up a neighbour who tried to bully him. I had seen the movie “Never too young to die” and when a neighbour tried to bully my younger brother at the car park in front of Block 207, I tried taking out every skill I had seen in that movie on him.

On one occasion, despite my dad had paid for School Bus to take us back home, after school, we never liked the school bus as we would be parked like Sardines in that Bus so I would often reserve some cash to take the public transport. One of those days, I was at the Bus Stop with my younger brother waiting for the next bus when one of those Busses parked a lil bit ahead of where we stood. The conductor came down and was shouting my name. These were the days of kidnapping kids in Lagos for money rituals and not ransom. I tightly grabbed my younger brother’s hand and held him close. The Bus conductor kept calling my name but I wasn’t going to move an inch. Unknown to me was that our mom was in the Bus and she had seen us so she pleaded with the Bus driver to stop and requested the Bus Conductor to call us. I was bent on not answering until our mom came down from the bus herself. We got home that day and she felt proud despite we had broken a rule by refusing to join the School Bus. Do I still wonder why Demi would walk to his school himself at the age of 5 (20mins walk for an adult)? Not exactly!

I graduated from Private Elementary school to land myself in a somewhat Concentration Camp (pretending to be an High school) called COMLAG. By the time I got into JS3, Akin had gained admission to Federal Government College Ogbomosho. While I wasn’t a senior student yet, I had a few Juniors I could exert seniority on and I remember on one of those days, I told myself, treat these Juniors nicely because your younger brother is in another school far from home and hopefully some seniors would treat him well too.

Toke, Myself and Akin would eventually land in Obafemi Awolowo University again. Myself and Toke had been in OAU a few years before Akin joined to study Law and one of the things that intrigued me was how carefree he was with the things I felt mattered. Akin once paid a Bike man N45 for bike ride that should cost N5. He just wasn’t bothered about a lot of things. Maybe the Last born syndrome. Some of his friends became my friends. He maintained his childhood passion for God and you could see that in his involvement in the things of God. While we attended the same Christian fellowship, he was the more committed one. I have always wanted to operate as a Secret Service in Church.

Post OAU, myself and Akin would stay together in Surulere briefly. Sure we had our differences but one thing I could tell is that we are from the same stock. He knows me. One evening, Akin had eaten something that irritated his stomach and threw up in the washroom, I was going to go help him clean up but Akin knows how squeamish I could be and he kept asking I should leave it. I respected that but how dare me not do what needs to be done. Though we are just 3yrs apart, this dude comes very close to the love I have for my sons. He is surely one of the few folks, I can say I have known all his life and I have loved from day 1.

It is another complete orbit around the sun and while some move in leap and bounds and I am happy for them but I am grateful for every millimetre of distance you have covered towards your Destiny and I know you are walking your own path. Guys don’t say this often to each other but I love you like that first day Mom and Dad brought you home.

Happy Birthday bro!

Screenshot

Was SuperTed your Childhood Superhero? Na! It was IBB!

On By richardolatunjiLeave a comment

General Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida popularly know as IBB was the Nigerian Military President between August 27th 1985 – August 26th 1993. Needless to say I was just 3yrs old when he took the reins of power through a bloodless military coup and I was 11yrs old when he Stepped Aside for an Interim Government. At this age, there shouldn’t be much of my business in who ran the affairs of the country but I was interested for reasons I do not know. I wasn’t interested in Super Ted, I was a bit interested in Voltron and yes I watched Soap Operas with my parents like Checkmate, Behind the Clouds etc but one of the few folks I had extreme admiration for was IBB. I wouldn’t say I know the reason why because I really didn’t know anything then but I admired him. Could it be his Charisma? Could it be his pretty wife – Maryam? I don’t know but something intrigued me about this General.

I wasn’t aware of how much admiration I had for him until Sunday April 22nd 1990. Then we were Muslims and there was never a sunday morning rush to go to church. We would wake up after a possibly late Saturday night movie with my parents and prepare to eat Yam & eggs and watch Telematch while our then Christian neighbours hurried to church. But on this Sunday morning, I woke up to one of our neighbours- Aunty Remi’s knock on our door with ecstatic noise to celebrate a military coup overthrowing IBB. There was a lot of disgust on my face as she broke the news and I watched my parents also celebrating. In my mind, these folks are celebrating the removal of my own Superhero from power. This is ridiculous. It took me a while to grasp their logic and in the process of wrapping my mind around the news, I bursted into tears.

My Parents were shocked. “Why are you crying?” I stuttered “I don’t want IBB to leave power”. I can’t recollect their response afterwards. It was later that day that another news broke that the attempted coup had been foiled. So tell me, who is laughing last? This incident made me realize how much admiration I have for IBB. I began to aspire to join the Nigerian Military (Wild Dream). As a result of the attempted coup by Major Gideon Orkar, IBB hastened the movement of the Nigeria Seat of Government to a more central location – Abuja. (This project was started by Gen Murtala Muhammad in the 70s). I remember the day the Capital was officially moved from Lagos to Abuja Thursday December 12, 1991, my dad, seeing how much admiration I have for IBB, had told me that morning that the political capital of the country was changing and there would be an Airforce display at a certain time and I could just look out for that in school. Unfortunately for me, Mr Danso Mensah was teaching in front of the class when the Airforce Display flew over my school. Needless to say, I couldn’t step out to watch, but I took note. I earned the Nickname “General” from one of my Uncles due to this unfounded admiration for IBB and till today, that is what he calls me.

Fastfoward to 1993, MKO won the presidential election and it was annulled. In all honesty, I wanted MKO to win. (Wait! Why was an Eleven year old boy interested in who ruled his country). Anyways, IBB annulled the election and there were protests and riots. My parents complained but this 11yrs old boy trusted that IBB annulled the election in good faith. Maybe this is what they mean when they say that when you love someone, you believe the best in them.

Amidst mounting pressure, IBB decided to Step Aside on August 26th 1993 bringing an end to his 8yrs rule which I believe recorded a lot of success howbeit, with a lot of controversies too. I remember watching NTA news that Monday with my parents. I saw him stood up from his seat and shook his head as he stepped aside. This 11yrs old boy’s heart was broken but I trusted that he had made a good choice to leave power amidst mounting pressure. Several years later, sometime in 1999, IBB attempted to run for the office of the President again and of course I was happy about it. By then I was a teenager getting ready to get into the University. My dad was opposed to IBB running for reasons best known to him. His preference was General Olusegun Obasanjo. In our regular argument on divergent opinions on polical matters, my dad instructed myself and my immediate older brother to do a write-up on IBB since we were both Pro-IBB. I think Bankole did his, I didn’t do mine. Anyways, IBB couldn’t get to run.

I eventually went to Obafemi Awolowo University to study History & International Relations and as a result spent some time visiting one of my Uncles in Ede who had been an ADC to IBB at a point in time. I spent time sitting with him to ask him about his experience with IBB. He would go on and on about his charisma. He would point me to the chair where IBB sat one of the few times IBB slept over in his house while he was having a function. According to my uncle, IBB was just damn good with people. Later in my Final year in OAU, I did a course on “Nigerian Foreign Policy under Military Rule” taught by Professor Fawole. This opened my eyes to a lot more about IBB from the viewpoint of a leader that made his landmark in International relations and also from the viewpoint of those who had spent time with him behind closed doors. Professor Fawole had spent time with IBB personally, so in his lectures, he would reference some of IBB’s experience during his last days in office and this endeared me to him the more. It appears that behind the Military General was a man that eventually realized he had pulled the strings of his intelligence too far during his last days in office and had to leave office with the stain of cancelling the most free and fair election in Nigeria’s history.

IBB has written his autobiography. Some have criticized it but I have enjoyed it. However, I am also coming to terms with the fact that some dreams will never come through and such was IBB’s dream of returning as a Civilian President and such is my dream of sitting next to him to glean from his experience but that I can find in his book. But this was one man that I admired so much as a kid and that stays the same.

Of School Mothers in COMLAG

On By richardolatunji1 Comment

Why am I awake at 12midnight thinking about my School Mothers in Secondary School? Well, the trigger is my school daughter turning 40. You mean I have a school daughter that is turning 40? Absolutely yes but not that I am that old. As I began to probe how Tope became my school daughter, I realised that beyond her sister and older brother being my friend and Tope being that cute litte teenager too, was my desire to give back some of the privileges I enjoyed as a Junior student from my school mothers.

It is not very usual for a guy to have a school mother not to talk of three school mothers. Of course I had very powerful School Fathers in the likes of Kazeem Agboola in JS 1 but in JS 3 as a thirteen years old boy, I felt I had outgrown that but some I founf myself having three influential school mothers. Oh my! I call them influential because in a school like ours, everyone was powerfull. Then being a prefect gives another layer to that power (Hopeful you have the charisma to sway the badge you wear). So I was in JS 3 and my older brother (Bankole) was the House Captain of Scorpion House and because we are guys, we weren’t the regular chummy chummy follow follow type of siblings. I had spent my first two years in that school without a lot of his female colleagues knowing he had a younger brother howbeit, in the boys hostel, it was obvious. Either through resemblance or me running to his hostel to hibernate from the fiery darts flying around the Boys Hostel.

Bankole’s prefectship exposed me to his female colleagues. The likes of Ronke Fernandez (Food Prefect), Funmi Awote (Catholic Prefect) and Goriola Dada (Muslim Prefect). If you went to my school, you will understand this was luxury and I didn’t hesitate luxiriating in the opulence that these people’s influence provided. While the three of them were exceptionally good to me, Goriola Dada was the one that mothered me the most. As a JS3 student, I stopped eating the regular food in the Dining Hall. As Prefects had their duties in dining hall, I had the privilege to enjoy the presence of three well respected Female Prefects. The days Goriola was not on duty, I had the attention of Ronke and when Ronke was not on duty, I had the attention of Funmi. Needless to say I was without anyone of them at any time. My School Mothers really shielded me but that had nothing to do with me.

On days I wanted to be humble and sit with my fellow masses (JS3 students) for dinner, Goriola would walk to my table and pull me out of a table of 10 to get a pot of food to myself. It was called the Prefect’s pot! Wow! I felt priviledged. She wasn’t just pulling me out of the table, she held me around the entire Space Ground while I had my colleagues quaking at the stiff supervision of the other prefects. Now for those that didn’t attend Command Lagos, Space Ground is a sacred place for the Powerful and Mighty. Just as Space in our Stratasphere is considered the gap between Heaven and Earth. Space in Command Lagos is the space between the Boys Hostel and the Girls Hostel. Remember I said it is the preserved of the Powerful & Mighty. Needless to say being a senior student doesn’t guarantee your presence there. You must have some clout. You must have some cariage or in my Gen Alpha son’s word, you must be sigma with infinite aura.

I would swagger around space with Goriola or Funmi or Ronke where some seniors didn’t have guts to go. Space was not just Space, guys met with their girlfriends there and if you move to close to the Female Hostel Gate, it is percieved you are trying to sneak into their hostel so Space was kind of out of bounds. So the idea of you being in Space increased your profile somewhat. The influence of School Mothers. Of course I was one heck of a cute clean teange boy (this I am 100% sure of) but I knew I was just enjoying the friendship they shared with my older brother and not exactly because of me so I knew I had to return this favour to someone else. Several times, I watched my colleagues fight over pots of food while I had my “Prefect Pot” waiting.

I need mention amongst my three school mothers, I felt most comfortable with Goriola because she is family and she lavished me with some big sister love that even as I write this, I feel incredibly indebted to her. Goriola was so posh that she wasn’t even drinking school water. They brought her water from home and it wasn’t just water. It was Ragolis Bottle Water in the 90s. You can imagine on several occassion when we had scarcity of water in School and I was going to walk back to my hostel with Ragolis Water. Thanks to my loving School Mother. The several N50 notes she would just slip into my pocket. I was shielded from what every other JS3 boy was going through that I had to sneak out of school a day after that 95set passed out (finished their WAEC) because I just didn’t think I could go back to my reality of being a regular student.

I became a Senior Student and out of the strong friendship I have with Okanlawon & Folake Ajayi, it made sense to have their lil sister as my School Daughter. I felt the need to shield someone else and this my forever school daughter was one of those. I am not sure I did as much as I got from my School Mothers for Tope as teh COMLAG terrain had changed in my time but I tried.