I had gotten into Obafemi Awolowo University and joined a group of Christians that would change my life forever. By the way, I often get hesitant writing about monumental events like this because I have a few things in my life that doesn’t echo this and the fear of people holding me to such a high standard scares me. I guess that serves as my Disclaimer. So back to the gist. So I met this lady Tola Awoyale in the Christian group I had joined and I can’t really remember what the connection was but we got on well in 100 level. As a group of 100 level students, we would always hang out and gist and as our 100 level began to end sometime in March 2001, Tola told a couple of us that she would be having her 19th Birthday at home in Lagos and we should show up.

As a Teenage boy on holiday, what more could you be doing than having fun? At least so I thought. As April 24th 2001 approached, I called up my friend – Muyiwa Sonuga and told him about the party invite. For you reading this, this story may not be a big deal but for us then it was a big deal and you will understand why it is monumental for me. I lived with my parents in the backside of Ipaja where the roads are bad and very bad. Where we often query why on earth would our parents decide to live in this part of Lagos. I often joked that if the CIA was looking for you, hide in Ipaja, they won’t find you. While Ipaja was remote, I am not sure it was about Ipaja being remote, I think it was more about my parents giving us somewhat exposure by taking us to the city to see family friends and after those brief visits, return us to our cave. It birth some type of frustrations in us as kids especially we the boys. It fuelled the need to get serious with life and create for ourselves what we have spied at.

Back to Tola’s Birthday. April 24th 2001 arrived and I got Muyiwa ready. Baseball T-shirt ready, Timberland Boots cleaned, Baggie Jeans straightened, Mitsubishi Gallant cleaned and we hit the road. Some Ipaja boys going to explore Lekki. lol. Now, one of the good things about both the high school and University I went to is that nobody really cares who you are or who your father is. In school we were all on the same level. This trip to Lekki will inform a lot more decisions in my life. My Dad had often taken us to 1004 estate in its glory days to see some cousins but that was the farthest we went but this time, without notifying my parents we were crossing into the Peninsula. See the Lekki, I am talking about in 2001 is not the Lekki you see now. Lekki Phase 1 then was the deal. As myself and friends drove into Lekki Phase 1, we were bewildered with the magnificent buildings we saw on Admiralty way, we missed the address we were heading to. I remember several WOW statements in the car. We drove pass houses facing the Lagoon and wondered who are these guys that own such magnificent castles in this serene neighbourhood. Lekki was very serene then. Come on, we’re coming from Ipaja where even if your parents completed their edifice, they won’t paint outside of the house. By the time, we got into Tola’s house, my friend Muyiwa had lost his appetite. He couldn’t even eat. **Smiles** @Muyiwa, I didn’t mean to expose you. I wore it well. I ate real good but there was a conception going on in the womb of my mind.

Reality hit me hard to appreciate how humble Tola is. OAU puts everyone on the same pedestal but Tola is one privileged lady that didn’t carry it around. As we began to drive back home, it was closing time in Victoria Island and all the executives were rushing out of their high-rise buildings in their suits, getting into their cars and heading home to beat the 3rd Mainland bridge traffic. I was impressed with what I saw. Whether they were suicidal and frustrated on the job didn’t matter to me. I was just a 19year old boy that was seeing the life he wants to live, the places he wants to live, the places he wants to work, the type of cars he wants to drive. I remember driving on that 3rd Mainland Bridge and seeing one young man driving a Honda Accord with his suits hanging in the back, I told Muyiwa ” I will work in one of this High Rise Buildings, I will drive this type of Car with my Suit hanging behind and I will live on this side of town”. The rest is history. Even when I later didn’t want to, it was too late as God already backed those words. I was eventually going to move to that part of town, drive that same car, hang my custom made suits in the back but didn’t realize that was a dream I once craved earnestly. Till today, it has become so hard for me to go to Lagos and stay in another part of Lagos. How a somewhat casual birthday party invite fuelled the determination of a 19years old boy.

I can go on and on or talk about escaping Professor Fawole’s Extra Year trap with a resounding A or the several trips from Lekki to Ipaja but I have been told to keep my write-ups short. However, let me touch on that briefly. I had scored a resounding B in IRS 404 in the first semester and hoping to exceed that in the second semester. However, my strategy was always to do well in the Continuous Assessment and set a goal for myself in the exam. Interestingly the majority of those that have failed the first semester course wanted a 100% for the exam which I felt was ridiculous but I was in the minority so my vote didn’t count. To do a 100% exam increased the number of answered questions to 5 or 4 meaning for a lecturer that inspects your phrases when marking, you don’t have much time to read over your answers and that was my fear. As soon as I put the last period in my answer sheet, time was up and I had to submit. Lacking confidence in what I had done, I dragged myself to the Covered pavilion where I accidentally sat next to Tola. Curious about my demeanour, she queried. Now, bare in mind I am taking a 4year course and she is taking a 5year course, we had often bantered on how I was gonna to leave the bunch of law students in school but that didn’t matter here. She asked if I required an agreement in prayer and she prayed as simply as she could. Such was my friendship with Tola Awoyale. As a result of escaping Professor Fawole’s extra year, when I was going to change province and I wasn’t sure that was the right decision and I needed someone to pray with, I had to reach out to my old friend and say you better be praying for me and my family because if this move goes wrong, your brother would be roasted.

Truly there are friends without any form of gimmick.

Let us spend some time reminiscing since I don’t have the task of planning a 40th birthday this year. Let me take you down memory lane to exactly 20yrs back. Wow! How time flies. I will implore anyone reading this to try and view this as my own ‘Missionary trip to Rwanda”and for those that follow a couple of my random social media posts, they will probably understand my Jacob vs Israel tussle a lot more. For me, Birthdays are big deals. Maybe not Naming Ceremonies, maybe not Burials and maybe not anniversaries, but obviously Birthdays.

At 19yrs old, I was invited to a friend’s birthday party in Lekki. Despite it was not the type of party I would have wanted as much as it was cool, I enjoyed that she had all of us (her friends) around. At this time, I was relatively new to Christianity in the sense of having a personal relationship with God whereby I could discuss anything with Him but thanks to CLF. That “crazy’ fellowship I joined in OAU despite my initial motivation was to go look for what we call tapping girls but ended up developing a personal relationship with God that still serves me today. Back to the gist, so I went for my friend’s birthday party and I had fun but not just fun, I had exposure too (Story for another day). I enjoyed all of the settings at that party. I remember getting back home in Ipaja and started praying about my 21st birthday. I knew what I wanted in terms of my birthday party. It wasn’t going to be anything like Tola’s birthday but I wanted to have a party. However, how can it ever be as saintly as Tola’s birthday when I have friends like DASH, Jydo, Kuramo, Chiefo, Rivaldo, Shina, Dipo, Seyi, Xtol Martini and co. Tola is my buddy I met in OAU and we both attended the same fellowship. But these my other friends were my “street guys”. By street, I don’t mean crude. They were refined as possible as we could be then but we weren’t just your Lekki Phase 1 folks neither were we absolutely fellowship folks. I had spent some time praying for my 21st birthday for about two days and let it go but those two days were intensive. The Goal was “I must have my 21st birthday party in a certain way.

Fastforward to 2yrs later, the Great ASUU had struck for several months. A few of us were bored and we were just always hanging out playing Playstation1, going swimming in that famous Abidap Hotels, sneaking our parent’ cars out, sometimes looking for girls to date. The life of a 20yr old turning 21! We had a lot of energy but we really couldn’t come up with anything better to do with it. For me, I was caught in several mix. Coming from a very religious background and being a very socialable person with all sorts of friends that cut across different social and religious background as well as my innate conscientious disposition, many times I was swinging like a pendulum.

It was a week to my birthday and broke as ever. After all it was ASUU strike and my parents are not of the opinion that I should be given any pocket money since I was home. My Dad had sent me to Uncle Dele to drop a few things for him. I remember I was walking down that famous dusty street when I stopped by at Shina’s house in my usual manner. I had N5 in my hand and I told him, “mehn Shina, it is my 21st birthday in a week but ain’t doing nothing”. Shina looked at me and said “Cherokee, there is no way you won’t do something. Even if it is small”. I said “really” he said “of course! This is Cherokee’s 21st birthday. Something must happen”. (my Nickname was Cherokee back then). I trust Shina to advise me correctly and I responded telling him, “okay I have to look for the money”. So the hustle began. I set a budget of about 20k or thereabout (memory fails me). How I was going to get that done, I didn’t know but I know I have always been graced to make money (but I know making money is hard) even if I have to pick holiday jobs to teach, sell Valentine Cards & gifts or anything legitimate. Somehow, I grew up believing money answers to legitimate needs and on this case, Shina has given my birthday party a sense of legitimacy.

I got home and discussed with my immediate older sister. Growing up, she was my social buddy. I give her the vision and she would run with it. Little wonder I kept telling Kemi Boboye she gave me my older sister’s vibes as we planned for my 40th last year. I began to hustle out the cash. When I said my going to Austin for Busayo’s wedding (Shina’s younger sister) was to pay back some of the goodwill I enjoyed from their family, I wasn’t being arbitrary. Now this is where it gets interesting and this is the crux of the this write-up. I had raised some money and was ready to have a 21st birthday party. In my typical fashion, I won’t request anything that is not exactly a need from my parents until I have been able to get a bit or sometimes a chunk of what I want myself. So on this occasion of my 21st birthday party, after raising some cash on my own, I walked up to my dad saying I want to do my 21st birthday. If you know my dad, you will know he is one of the most conservative folks I know. He was shocked that out of the whole issue in the country, it is a birthday party I am considering. I went further to tell him, I have cleaned up the duplex in front which was still undergoing construction at that time, I have raised some amount and I need some cash but also, I will be having my friends in the house on my birthday. I still don’t know how I did that but after a couple of grumbling, my dad handed me N2000 a day or two later. Now two things, Mr Olatunji is giving you money to throw a party when ASUU is on strike and you are indirectly telling him to leave his edifice because you want to have a party? You must be high on something. But somehow, he obliged me.

As I continue to plan for this party, it dawned on me that some of my friends were coming from Lekki and Omole but my street looked more like a road horses should ply as compared to a road where sedan cars should drive on. Bare in my mind these are friends that would have probably sneaked out their parent cars or borrowed their parent cars and to drive those cars on these terrible roads was a risk. In my simplistic act, without considering the magnitude of what I was asking, I had a conversation with God asking if it is possible to have someone grade this street of mine so that it can be a bit smooth for cars to drive easily on. This was on the Wednesday before my birthday which was on the following Monday. Miracoulsly, I saw a Dozer on Friday afternoon grading that street. I was ecstatic! However, everywhere became very dusty. These were the days we dressed like everything we saw on MTV Base so I knew a lot of my friends would be wearing white sneakers as that was the fashion thing then. So I wanted to push my luck a bit harder and so I got on another conversation with God on Saturday, “God, it is my birthday on Monday and this whole street is very dusty. I know it rarely rains in February in Nigeria. How about just a little bit of rain to wet the street so the dust isn’t so much”. Come Sunday Feb 23rd evening, it rained just at the level I wanted it.

It was Monday Feb 24th and my both parents had left the house. My friend’s flooded the house and we partied like every 21yrs old would. At 6pm, my parents retuned and so that I don’t push my luck too far with all of the crazy dancing steps we were displaying (DASH & one chic like this **hidden name**), I felt it made sense to end the party but my friends refused to leave and thankfully PHCN was gracious to us. I had to turn off the electricity and myself and few friends continued the party at the poolside in Abidap Hotels. The birthday party went by and I continued my conversations with God. I was like this a very secular party. Nothing gospel about this. Why did you answer all of my prayers to the letter? No response. But one thing I heard clearly: “you had about 40-50 people or thereabout at your party, don’t ever mistake that when the chips are down, you can call on all those folks at the party. In other words, don’t get fooled! It took several years for me to understand the only reason (and maybe there is more) God obliged everything I wanted was because He was trying to get my attention to make me see that He is interested in the minute details of my life. Did He approve of such a party, I don’t know but that experience opened up a different channel of communication between this sometimes Jacob and sometimes Isreal Boy. By the way, a lot of those folks, I am still in close contact with and these folks are my buddies for life!

Hard to believe 20yrs went by pretty fast! It is 4.1 baby!

I have seen collage of pictures from Google Photos capturing moments in 2022 but I am not sure those pictures will do justice to my 2022 Review. What a year it has been and I will try to capture the moments as succinctly as I can. It was January and myself and my wife had been knocked down by a flu. I often dread both of us falling ill at the same time in this cold North as it leaves the kids without proper attention. So January started on this note and it was Wunmi Rotimi who sent her husband Segun Rotimi a Bowl of White Rice and spicy stew one of those afternoon while I struggled to gather strength and take care of us. As we both began to recuperate, the reality of my 40th birthday began to stare me in the face. I have always wanted a 40th birthday party since my dad clocked 40 in September 1988. With February fast approaching, a long childhood friend called me to ask if I was still going ahead with my 40th Birthday Party. Prior to then, between myself, my wife and Kemi, we had been deliberating if I really wanted to have a party. Kemi reminded me of how she thinks it is important to me even if I didn’t want to own up to it. February came and yes my 34yrs dream of having a 40th birthday party happened. It turned out to be worth every bit of it with Friends and Families turning up with their energy. Then I concluded that yes a good DJ, good food can make a party rock but you also need people with the right energy and that I had.

Here comes March & April, torn between reminiscing on my 40th birthday and planning for my mom’s 70th birthday party in Lagos Nigeria. Now my mom’s 70th birthday was a big deal for her and the entire family but asides that, the opportunity to go back to my own Bethel (Lagos) was also on the table. Having moved to the North Pole in 2018, I tried going back in December 2018 but it didn’t happen as it takes a while to settle down in the Cold North. Come December 2019, missing Lagos life so badly, myself and my cousins planned to spend December 2020 in Lagos (Detty December loading). By Feb 2020, the longing to go to Lagos had crippled my patience, I told myself I wasn’t going to be able to wait till December. I booked a flight for April 2020 and began to count down. Then Covid happened. I tried to visit Lagos in 2021 but my passport expired so 2022 wasn’t gonna weave this on me. The anticipation was ripe and I was going to have my “Lagosarsm”. However the woe stories emanating from Nigeria began to weigh me down. As my trip to Lagos drew closer, I began to have panic attacks. I am a Lagos boy. I love that city in spite of its madness but it appeared I had given heed to these woe stories. I don’t doubt that some of them were true but some were also exaggerated. To pacify my anxiety, I began to listen to one of the tracks that generated the best vibe during my birthday gig- Feel Good by Mohbad. Plenty enemies, wey day follow me. Ma je ki won mu mi, even if na die minute.

The month of May came and I jet off to England to reconnect with my cousins and friends. The likes of Wunmi, Jumoke and DASH. My stop in England was good as it allowed me connect with families I had not seen in decades and almost a decade for others. My stay in England was over and I was en-route Lagos. The excitement in me was over the roof. As we flew into the Lagos airspace and I couldn’t contain the grin on my face, a lady next to me had to ask “why I was so excited?”. Landed in MM1 and yes the weather was hot but I grew up here. Come on! One of my very good friends had gotten me a driver and as we drove out of the airport, I initially struggled with the Honk by cars on the road, In a few seconds I struggled with folks jumping on the highway to cross the road but I was quick to remind myself nothing has changed, This is your Lagos and you are the one that got used to a sane environment in 4yrs. As we crossed the 3rd Mainland bridge and drove into Ikoyi, I saw a semblance with where I have been hibernating in the last 4yrs. Despite a lot of folks already scared me about driving in mad Lagos and how I may not be able to cope with the madness (That I shrugged off), as soon as the driver dropped me in my short-let and handed over the car keys to me, I had a shower and got on the road that night, For me, nothing has changed. I guess people exaggerated on the driving. If you wondering what my Lagosarsm was, it was reconnecting with friends that I grew up with. A lot of these guys are doing well in their right. It was sitting with Tayo and seeing everything he used to tell us about his dream while we stayed in Eko Hotel on NLNG’s bill as a young graduate. It was hanging out with Dipo and catching up on the days of ASUU strike while we felt stuck in ipaja to living together as a bachelor in Surulere and then moving to Lekki listening to him telling me about his dream of owning a profitable and credible real estate firm and now seeing all of those words become “flesh”. It was reconnecting with my Ex-Commandos and seeing everyone doing well. It was spending time with the likes of Babajide, Tayo Fadahunsi and Ojebode (as we used to call ourselves while living in Agungi – The Young, Rich and Famous) and cracking all of our jokes without any care of offense.

Back to my Mom’s 70th birthday. It went just as planned and I remain grateful first to my siblings that made such an event happen and to everyone that graced the occasion. It was a good occasion to reconnect with extended family and the party reminded me that I am a community child which made me feel 20yrs younger. Of course I am a community child as I was raised by several good meaning people looking out for me with the likes of the Olawales, the Eyiowuawis, Bamlat, Aunties and Uncles. As my trip to Lagos was coming to a close, I had a wave of nostalgia. You mean this place called home is now a place I can only visit at least for the foreseeable future. Flew back to the North Pole and I could only thank my wife for holding forth with my boys. I came back to Calgary and just the way I reset my mind when I got into Lagos, I had to reset my mind back when I got here. The rest of June went by with a bit of Sobriety while I reminisce on my Largosarsm. July came by and I had settled back to my routine and graced the Calgary Stampede with my family. A fun event that could have turned sour. August and September came by quietly. It is expected. This was the Calm after the Storm.

My wife’s birthday often clashes with Canada’s thanksgiving and though we were not planning anything, my cousins insisted they were coming over. Without any major planning, we had a lot of fun with the presence of Shayo, Kemi, Cousin Dami, Tope, Kola, RSK, Dara my content creator advisor and all the kids. It was fun! With a blink of an eye, we got into November and Vancouver called. After careful deliberations I answered the call to Vancouver and it was worth the trip.

Here I am in December. It is Fela’s 40th and party or no party, Houston here we come. Memories of myself and Fela goes way back. From playing the Super Mario Bros on Nintendo to riding bicycles on the Highway that leads from Magodo to Beger. Teenagers risking their lives. One more trip to Houston, maybe Austin but definitely San Antonio to see families and we call it a wrap. 2022 in Review

The yorubas say eni ti o ba mor inu ro, a mor ope da (anyone that knows how to think/analyse will know how to give thanks). I am approaching my 40th birthday and I can only be grateful. Prior to age 5, I only wanted to be a clean Naval officer, Airforce Officer or be like my Dad (wearing shirt and tie, working in a fine company and eating two pieces of meat). At age 5, on one sunny afternoon while my aunty was bathing me, she alerted my mom of a likelihood of an anomaly which resulted to me being diagnosed of hernia. Whatever that means, I didn’t know but I found my troubled parents taking me to the hospital. I was put on the operating table where I was induced for the surgery. I remember regaining consciousness to see my lower abdomen heavily band-aided as I watch my mom scream hallelujah seeing me regain consciousness despite we were muslims. I was oblivious to whatsoever had happened. I just knew I was on the operating table. I was going to spend the next two weeks in that hospital with a lot of my parents friends coming to visit me. On one occasion, Mrs Olurinde came to my sick bed side and while I saw the concern in her face, I told her (as naive as I was) “don’t worry about me, I am going to enjoy the life of my head here on earth. Looking back, I understand their worries. With poor health facilities in the 80s, coming through an operating table wasn’t a small feat. You can take it for granted now.

It was later that year -1987 that my late Dad all of a sudden developed HBP (over 2000 on one sunday afternoon. My mom couldn’t drive and Tope Balogun’s dad was the one that had to come to her rescue to rush my Dad to the Hospital. He was going to survive that terrible illness and live another 24yrs. I wondered what a year 1987 was like for my mom. Little wonder when I had a dream 1988 I was covered in a white shroud and casually told my mom because I didn’t really know the implication of that dream, I still remember her fierce reaction.

Fast-forward to 1988, I came home from school on September 15th and saw a couple of family friends in the house. It was my dad’s 40th birthday and thanks to his survival of the terrible 1987 sickness, my mom felt it necessary to have a surprise 40th birthday party for him. My Dad was a king Sunny Ade die hard fan howbeit, also very conservative. If my Dad had as much money as he wanted, I think he would have invited KSA to his Birthday. It was on that day, I told myself I would have my 40th birthday party too.

However, while this has been a dream for me since I was 6yrs old, in the last couple of months, I have contemplated the importance of having a 40th birthday party. I got to a point that I told myself I would pass especially when I consider that it is my mom’s 70th in a couple of months. I consoled myself by saying I would sacrifice my birthday party for my mom’s 70th but I hate to live with regrets. I want to do every good thing I ever conceived especially the ones I conceived as a child when there were barely no ulterior motives. So I decided to go ahead with my party.

I have often spent some of my birthdays being melancholic but I don’t want this to be about that. As I reflect on the last 40yrs, I can only conclude I am a product of a lot of people that I have allowed to influence me. At an early age, my dad made a good impression on me. He introduced me to the likes of Mr & Mrs Olawale, Mr & Mrs Eyiowuawi whom I also consider as parents. My write up on Quiet Influence details a bit of that. I became a teenager and my older brother introduced me to Paul Adefarasin and my life took another dimension. Somewhere in that mix, I came across Tony Olise, who sat me down almost every evening teaching me about faith in God. In the course of my 40years journey, I have come across different types of people. I have tried to keep in touch with all of my friends and I can proudly say I am in no way self-made (My own life is for rent). As I step into this new age, I am very much aware of some of my unfulfilled dreams but I am not dwelling on those. I am flipping the page of my journey. Some move in leaps and bounds but I am grateful to God for every millimetre that I take towards my destiny because I am persuaded that I will fulfil my Destiny. I am looking forward to the next 40yrs if the rapture doesn’t happen.

It hardly rains in February in Nigeria. As February is the coldest month anywhere around the Northpole, the opposite happens in Nigeria. I was an undergraduate and the weather was sweltering hot. Oh, it was very hot. I have the fortune of been born in that incomplete month which is also the hottest month in Nigeria. What has that got to do with the weather, you asked. Follow me and I will tell you. Having watched too many MTV musical videos, hosting a somewhat wild party was so much on my mind as my 21st birthday approached that February. I was going to invest my entire pocket money on this gig. My older sister whom we schooled together was also going to be very supportive. My friends (a lot of them) were really anticipating this birthday party Cherokee was going to host. My birthday was on a Tuesday but I wasn’t going to have a party on a Tuesday. The turn out would have been very low. Also, I had a very strong commitment to my fellowship where we often spend Tuesday evenings praying. Not just for us but for anyone that we could pray for. It was called Tuesday intercessory prayers. Now my social life was in no way going to stop my commitment to that meeting. No, it was not another religious activity. It was the pillar that helped my faith. Undoubtedly, I can trace everything that I had then and now to those Tuesday prayers. Those prayers have been very efficient in my walk with God. But how do I explain that I was that committed to this exercise and I was going to have wild birthday party? May God forgive us our foolishness and sins.

Like I mentioned, my birthday had fallen on a Tuesday and I had to be at the covered pavilion. Emphasis on Covered Pavilion. Everyone that attended OAU will understand covered pavilion as we also have the uncovered pavilion. My fellowship often occupied the covered pavilion while RCCG made use of the uncovered pavilion. Considering that it was the beginning of the year, the weather was crazily hot and we were all anticipating the rain. As we sat in the covered pavilion, the clouds began to move and it thundered. My pastor (Pastor kasman) got on the podium and requested that we have to pray to stop this rain. I tried to process why he wanted us to disturb God to stop the rain. After all, we were covered. He then explained that we needed to pray that the it doesn’t rain because the rain was going to disturb the RCCG service which was going on in the uncovered pavilion. As I sat on that concrete slab, I told myself “Pastor Kasman, you are on your own on this because first, we are covered, secondly the weather is extremely hot and we need some rain, thirdly what business do I have with RCCG” and so I objected to praying. The more the congregant prayed, the more it rained. The weather became chilled and though I went home enjoying the coolness of the weather, I felt some form of guilt.

However, as I rode on Road 1, I heard it clearly in my spirit “we needed your collective faith to stop the rain but you refused, lets see how your party on Saturday goes”. I thought that was just me guilt-tripping myself and I tried to shrug it off but I still noted it. Myself and my friends kept planning this birthday party for Saturday. Venue was set and drinks were piling up. IVs had been sent out and we were sure we were going to have a lot of fun (and yes they did). Let me mention I had also set my party on the same night a very popular magazine was having a rave. Some people felt I didn’t have enough clout to pull such a stunt but I was bent on proving a point. I must have really been feeling cool. Youthful exuberance. I insisted on having my party concurrently while the magazine hosted theirs. My older sister had arranged for the catering while my friends organized the drinks and the convoy. At 9pm, we decided to drive down into campus in convoy and the Thunder roared. Then I remembered the previous Tuesday and began to pray quietly to God to stop the rain. The more I prayed, the more it rained. We parked in front of Mozambique hall till the rain eventually stopped. Filled the cars with ignorant ladies and drove them to the venue where we partied till day break. However, I was too exhausted to enjoy the party I had spent all my pocket money on. I got into my own party venue at 2am and left at 4am.

I guess I already got the message God was communicating. What a myopic and selfish dude I was. The party was successful for those that attended. But for me, it was just another lesson in my walk with God and I already got my message.

Since when I was a child, I have always looked up to you. It was about your simplicity which I felt covers much of your toughness. Growing up, myself and my brothers discussed how liberal you are but I wasn’t carried away with your liberal/simplistic demeanor. I knew you have a tough core. You have inspired me into becoming the man I am becoming. Whether it was Block 399, Akute or Magodo, I was always excited to come around and this was not just because of the kids but much more because I felt if I added your pattern of living to my dad’s pattern of living, I would be the man of my dreams. I know a lot of people may say what did a child know at that age but I have seen in my own son, similar traits of projecting into the future the type of man he wants to be as an adult. Which gives me some comfort.

Okay I forgot to mention that the drum of sweet (what my kids will now call candy) in your bedroom in Block 399 and the Nintendo was also a motivation for me to come around. Oh, how can I forget the several trips to the farm in Akute. You introduced me to side-business. Yes, the pig farm, the Kabor (I hope I got the spelling right) truck and the commercial bus. As early as 7 years old, I used all the snacks money my dad gave me in Grade 3 to buy Seven-up bottle crowns. You ask me why? Of course, Seven-up was doing a raffle draw and the First prize winner was going to win a Jetta Executive Sedan. I spent all I had buying crowns believing I was going to win. (Sadly, I never won) One day, my dad asked why so many crowns? I said I was going to win the Jetta Executive. He probed further “so what are you going to do with it when you win? I said I was going to sell it and buy several buses and get commercial drivers to drive it so I can start having my own extra money. That inspiration came from your commercial bus and the Kabor (as we often called it then).

The news of you joining Coca-Cola inspired me a lot and you made my love for that brand increase so much, it is still hard for me to identify with a competing brand. Your choice of architecture baffled me. Simple but timeless. Though I was perceived as a child, I was very much aware of my dad presenting to you the architecture plan of the house in Ipaja and without you doing too much analysis, you advised him that the building was going to be too massive for a salary earner. Yes, he didn’t adhere and I am sure he later realized it as the building gulped a lot of his working life. From that moment as a child, I made up my mind that I was going to play it safe when it comes to building. My wife probably is unaware this underlines a lot of my decisions.

I will never forget 1998 August. We (myself, Femi and Fela) had written JAMB and expecting our result. You drove us to JAMB office in Ikoyi to check our results despite it was a working day. On getting to JAMB office, the queue was very long and you spoke with someone who advised we come back later in the day. So, you had to drive us to your beautiful office on Gerrard Road ikoyi in your Toyota Corolla. For me that was another conception in world of my dreams. The Great Coca-Company. We were freezing cold as we waited in your office. First because the AC was chilling, Secondly, because we were dreading the JAMB result and thirdly the ambience in that office was nothing like Nigeria. As we sat in your office, the then Marketing Director walked into your office and I eavesdropped on both of you talking about strategy on how to edge out Seven-up. The conversation was so inspiring to me, there and then, I decided that I was going to go for a career in Marketing and told myself “One day I was going to work as a Marketing personnel in global brand like Coca-Cola regardless of what that JAMB result looked like. (Then I was trying to study law. I eventually spent 6yrs in KPMG working as Senior Marketing Analyst) We eventually went to check the JAMB result and it was awful. I had 167, Femi had 170 and only Fela got slightly above 200. I remember the drive home was a quiet one. You dropped us on that express road before vying off to CMD road in Magodo and told us to go home. We knew were in for it. You got home later that night and called us. I remember that conversation. You told us in your words: “how did you think I was able to build this type of house? I took my studies seriously and you guys have to sit up. You unserious guys”. I hate to disappoint anyone that I look up to. I went back to think about my life. That conversation is paying off. I eventually got into OAU.

Time went by and I kept seeing how Coca-Cola was always changing your cars. The one that struck me was the BMW. I understand companies giving out cars like Toyotas as official cars but a company giving out a German car as Status car did beat my imagination. I have always admired German cars since I was age 8 but you owning one validated my desire that one day, I would own my own BMW. **Smiles**.

Growing up, I just wanted to glean life nuggets from you. Especially considering that you were the only person and maybe Mr. Eyiowuawi too that my dad was so comfortable around. I could keep on writing but let me run to a close. I later graduated and was job hunting and I read in the paper that the great Food scientist from Coca-Cola resigned to set up his own Food factory. I had not a single reservation working with FEMVEL because I knew with you, it was going to be successful but I remember you telling me “Lekan we are not ready for you yet and by the time we are ready, you most likely would have moved on with your career”. I was happy with such encouraging words.

Sometime in 2011, I lost my dad. I think that is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. The burial was completed and all the distant relatives were gone. The house was quiet and deserted despite we were all in the house. I was in shock, pain and confusion. I was just becoming a Man and the person I felt could answer my manly questions and help me navigate the tough decisions of life just died on me. I remember that Sunday evening after the burial, you came back to this deserted family and after paying my mom a visit, you called us (the children) downstairs and gave me the most comforting words I have ever heard. You said in your words: “your dad is gone and he was a good man though not perfect as no one is but he was such a good man and very close to me. Now that he is gone, I am here to be your father”. This pierced the core of my heart. Not that I didn’t think you have always been a father but such words coming when it came was beyond what I needed. I don’t know if my other siblings heard that or responded to that offer but I did.

Then December 2013 came and in my usual weekend trips to Magodo. You asked me: “Lekan, how old are you”? I said 31. You went further…”do you want to get married and you put the caveat: “it is not a trick question because you don’t have to”. I smiled and said I want to get married but there is still time. You responded “there is no time” and I gave an example of my then CEO – Seyi Bickersteth who married at 35 and had his first child at 40. You responded that “Seyi Bickersteth is just one in how many people and how many people are fortunate to become a CEO”? You went further to say “set a date like a budget and start working towards it”. Uncle Gbemi was seated that evening. There and then without a serious girlfriend, I set Aug 30^th 2014 for my wedding. Took my girlfriend seriously and as the wedding date approached, I ran to you one Sunday morning and said I am cutting off this engagement. You sat me down on the dining and said “this is where you have to show yourself a Man”. “Life is tough and you can’t back down simply because you are scared. In my mind”, I was like mehn…and here we are 7years and counting.

Many times. I wonder if there is any way I can pay for the way you have inspired me even in areas you are unaware of but I tell myself the best way is to hold dear those values that your have taught me. Happy Birthday to you and thank you for taking the tough path. I know being a good father is tough but thank you for not giving up on being who you are.

I often hear people say “live your life” and when they say this, I suppose what they connote some times is that you don’t owe anyone the way you live your life. As trendy as this may sound, this doesn’t apply to me. I am a product of several people I came across in my life and I consciously remind myself I owe them. First my parents for living the way that they lived and are living. Howbeit not perfect but they shaped me. I sometimes wonder where my strong convictions come from and as much as I want to take credit for it sometimes, I think that will be absolutely wrong. There is a saying that if I cannot enhance the name I inherited, I shouldn’t damage it either. Besides my parents, their friends. As a child, my parents made very awesome friends that shapes the decisions I constantly make. This somewhat gave me a balanced upbringing because what my parents were deficient in, I found very efficient in their friends.

I remember I got into trouble in Grade 1. I think I was 5yrs old and my proprietress (Mrs. Onitiri) got to know about it and being a family friend too, she called me to speak to me. The content of what she said, I can’t remember but I knew she was interested in me turning out well. Time went by and I will grow to get a job in a very reputable company where her daughter in-law worked and you can imagine how fulfilling I felt when Mrs. Onitiri came for one of the events my department anchored. It is not to say that I am living perfectly or I have lived perfectly but even when I err which I constantly do, one of the things that ring in my head is all the teachers, and families that has helped to shape my life.

A very close friend of mine recently said I appear like one of those kids that was so focused on the future while others were having fun. While that is somewhat true, it is not entirely true because I think I had as much fun. I only internalized my fun beyond the periphery. On one occasion, my parents took us to Cement Factory staff quarters in Ogun State to see a relative. As we drove through the quarters, I saw the lush greenery. I saw people playing golf, I saw the calm and quiet environment. The place looked like those pictures of Garden of Eden I had seen in My Book of Bible Story. They had walk-ways. Now if you grew up where I grew up and around the time I grew up in Nigeria, these things were more imaginary. I was inspired and I jumped up in the car and told my parents: “This is the type of place I want to live”. I didn’t pay much attention to their response but I remember they both looked back and smiled. In retrospect, I suspect my dad would have said if you are hardworking and take your studies seriously which was his typical fashion. Daddy, I guess I took my studies seriously and worked hard or maybe God just showed this young man mercy. I will go with the latter.

I have a lot of growing-up dreams. Some of which have become a reality but some I still cannot reconcile how they will become a reality. However, while a lot of my dreams came from my solitude, also quite a number came because of those I have interacted with over the years. Especially to those ones that really didn’t have any stake in whether I turn out well or not. They really were not expecting any returns. We can argue that our parents wanted us to turn out well because we are their children but how about those that made such immense contributions either by correcting us when we erred or by advising us when we were confused ( I was many times and still do) or the ones that lived a good and disciplined life and made it easy for us to see that these things are reachable. For me, I think this is why I can’t just live my life. It is really not my life. It is an aggregate of several deposits. Is it Friends that just believe you are a good guy when you doubt your worth? Is it a Partner that is convinced you know what you are doing even you really don’t know? Is it the kids that think you are a super-human and entrust their lives to you? All these people are the reasons why I think life is for rent and that is why this evening my focus is more on all these folks. I think it is worth hosting these folks in my next birthday **smiles**

At age 2 or 3, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, my response was that I wanted to be “Daddy”. I remembered my siblings (as I have a couple of older ones) asked me this question too many times. Not that I knew what I was saying but I just couldn’t think of being anyone else than my Dad. Maybe because I saw my dad dressed well to work, drove his car to work, dropped us off in school, listened to all types of cool music or whatever. But I remembered vividly that was always my response.

As I grew older that changed. At age 6-7 or thereabout, I wanted to join the military. Thanks to IBB and a series of war movies I had seen. As I was rounding up grade school, I became more aware of my Dad’s profession and where he worked. My Dad was an Accountant but I never wanted to be an Accountant. However, I conceived a dream to want to work in a multinational like he did. Every time we drove pass his office during our weekend outings, I always dreamt of working in that type of organization. I saw the beautiful ambience and the greenery within the company premises and for me that was the standard. He often took us to his Boss’ (Mr. Adeyemi) house for parties. That man’s house was mighty and still one of the finest houses I have seen. Swimming pool and anything you wanted. Mere looking at Mr. Adeyemi, I had dreams and hopes for my Dad too. At age 8, my mom had a lovely 40^th birthday get-to-together for my dad in our living room with close family friends and I conceived that when I want to have my own 40^th, it would be a large party. Call KSA if possible. **smiles**. My dad made very good friends. Friends, we the kids began to call ourselves cousins. In a way, it was a safe approach for him to decide his children’s friends. I could tell my Dad I was with the Olawales or Eyiowuawis and he was just comfortable. I always dreamt of building such close knitted relationship with a few friends.

Sometime in 1995, my parents became a Christian and we often had a session of prayer at home where everyone (from the oldest to the youngest) was told to pray and on one occasion my Dad asked my younger cousin to pray before me. My older ones interjected and pointed to him he had skipped me and he calmly responded “you don’t have to worry about Lekan. He will spend all his life praying to God”. My eyes popped open wondering what is this? But that stuck. I grew up to realize the only place I find fulfilment is interacting with God. At a time when I struggled with my homework, my dad was the one who said if you ever have a brain block in the examination hall, as long as you have prepared well prior to the exam, just say a short prayer and God will remind you. Hmm…I grew up seeing exam questions in my dream.

In my late teenage years, apparently my dad was also getting older (clocked 50 when I was 16). He had become a Christian in his 40s but still had a relatively good social life. Somehow in the wake of him clocking 50, his house got burnt and I think that changed his entire outlook to life. It appeared to me after that incident, he threw away his social life. All that mattered to him became his faith. I felt somehow. He still attended social events but you could tell they really were no longer priorities for him. I was just getting into my late teenage adventures- I wanted to party. I kept my Afro and sometime braided my hair. On one occasion he ordered me to bring my Afro down and I was quick to remind him of his youthful days. At that point, I didn’t want to be like my Dad but where can I run to? Having attended the same church for a while, I opted to attend a church that would allow my teenage energy and he grudgingly allowed. I decided to find God myself. In that quest, I also began to take my Christianity seriously despite we differed on a lot of things.

Fast forward to the 2000s, I got into OAU and I knew I was stuck on God (Oh how I miss those days). I often bought tapes of sermon preached by student pastors and shared with my dad when I got home and he actually listened. After listening, he would walk out of his room asking me, were you in those services or you just bought the tapes and I was going to respond yes, I was. In retrospect, maybe he felt my life wasn’t showing as much depth as the sermon he just listened to. To be honest I wasn’t his regular Christian. I had a lot of Afro and often braided my hair. I wasn’t wearing shirt, trousers and shoes. I was wearing baseball jerseys, Baggies and Sneakers. I remember those days driving his car or my mom’s car around. In the days when would drive our parents’ cars to go see girls and the girls would be impressed. He called me one day and said boy, don’t let these girls turn your 40days journey to 40years. Tell them you have a long way to go. This left me with a psychology to scrutinize all the ladies I dated. The reverse was that he also felt I needed to be very patient with ladies. That left me in a lot of conundrum because it was hard for me to differentiate the lady that required patience from the one that was hell bent because in my dating days, if a lady suggested derailing me, girl.. we were done! A few times he was going to quote verses from Proverbs. One that scared and still scares the life out of me – Proverbs 7:21-27.

My Dad spent 25years working in one organization till he retired. Yes, he got some funds and gifts but I didn’t want to spend 25 years working in one place. Well…is it my fault? If I had been raised in a mud house, in a polygamous home, by uneducated parents, somewhere in Osun state where voodoo was flying all around and narrowly made it out to the type of multinational where he worked maybe I would have stayed 40yrs there. Lesson learnt: never judge anyone until you know where they are coming from. But what did this teenage boy know? I was bent on finishing school early and getting a job and let me add an Official Car. I remember at 16, after one of our house fellowships, I told my Dad, I said I would get into Unilag this year, and run a 4 year course, finish at 20, NYSC at 21, first Job with an official car at 22 and marry at 23. I remember that Sunday evening like it was yesterday and my dad smiled and said that is a good plan but life is not that straight forward. I grew to know that. JAMB jammed me, Unilag didn’t admit me, OAU admitted me later but ASUU strike struck me and I finished school at 23.

I was posted to Katsina for NYSC and I just didn’t see why I should go to the North. In my typical fashion, I came back to Lagos and my dad just kept observing. One day he asked me when do you plan returning to your service post, I said I am not returning and he just looked away but I knew he didn’t approve of that but probably just felt right now, you are an adult- your choice.  In my heart I was having arguments with God. I knew God wanted me to complete my service year but I didn’t see any justification. One day I woke up and said you know what Dad, I am returning to Katsina. My Dad said it makes a lot of sense to do what you have to do and do it the right way. In my mind, I was like why is this man like this? I went to Katsina and met a friend I developed a great relationship with. He is one of the thought leaders in the aviation industry in Nigeria now. James and my Dad built a father-son relationship you will almost think I met James through my Dad.

Completed NYSC and landed a job in a one-man business but my dad had put a vision of a Multinational in my heart so what was I doing in a one-man business. In all fairness, looking back, that was a fairly good job because it had proper structure and a nice building too. Two months after,  I resigned from the job against my Dad’s advice. I thought I was smart. Oh, foolish me! Young and Strong-willed. I thought he was trying to clone me to be him. I didn’t want to spend 25years in one organization. I thought I was going to get another job easily. Common this is Nigeria. I spent the next two years just volunteering for NGOs. I resented my Dad because it became obvious he was right saying-  “You are a man; you will be responsible for your family. You can’t quit a job before getting another one simply because you don’t like some things in the organization”. I eventually got another job after two years and it was still a one-man business. Tougher one. I was literally walking on a thin rope for two years. Afraid of being fired. Salary delayed. Bought a camera at one time as an escape incase, I got fired. Lesson learnt- with God, you will have to deal with your troubles. You run but you can’t hide. I was disgruntled. I remember telling the Human resource manager that salaries are meant to be paid on the 24^th of the month since that was what I saw growing up and the guy often responded – “Richard you are too idealistic”. Well it happened that I was being realistic but just passing through a phase.

Two years later, I got the multinational I was dreaming of. First name basis, salaries paid on the 24^th.  But you know what, poppa was gone. Success doesn’t really feel like success if the person who set you on that part is not around to share the glory with you.

I never could fast because my eating was very inconsistent. But on March 27^th 2011, I had gone to church and Pastor Paul charged us to PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) which commenced a week later – April 4^th. In his nudge, he had told us to ask God to tell us what to pray for rather than spend time just praying aimlessly. As I went to bed that night in my apartment in Surulere, I said a little prayer asking God what to pray for.  I woke up from a dream at 2:30am and in my dream, my Dad died. As I have been taught, immediately I woke up, I prayed and after praying, I placed a call to my dad. He wondered why I was calling him at that time. I was also too scared to tell him what I had seen in my dream so I claimed I was just checking up on him since my daily schedule was very busy. I went further to say he often told me to wake up to pray and I felt he was going to be awake praying around that time too so we exchanged pleasantries and left the call. However, as bad as that dream was, it didn’t come with fright. The following morning, I set off to work and my boss – Tunji Agbaje called to tell me he was going to be absent because he got a call that his Dad went into coma at 2am. Now I felt maybe that was what my dream was about and sincerely I felt a bit of comfort. Tunji retuned a few days later to say his Dad regained consciousness. That made me feel like an intercessor whom God answered his prayers.

A week later – April 4^th, we began the PUSH exercise and for the first time in my life, I had a sense of urgency to complete this 21days exercise. The first seven days was going to be without eating, we were going to break with soup in the second seven days and the fruits in the last seven days. It was a tall order for me but somehow the will to go ahead was available. I embarked on this exercise. I got revelation of the word of God like never before. Some of those words still propel me today. During my first week, I would call people like Pastor Flourish asking if we had to go through this process and to be sure every other person was doing this exercise too. I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t left alone. Somehow it got easier as we progressed. I prayed my life out and lost a lot of weight. I felt I had bound whatsoever evil that was going to try to come close. I felt confident of answered prayers though nothing was really urgent in my physical realm but I have never loved to wait for an emergency.

By the 22^nd April, which was a Good Friday, I called my Dad to wish him Happy Good Friday and after our normal conversation, he mentioned that he was feeling a slight pain in his stomach. That felt like an ordinary pain and I told him not to worry that I was going to be home on Easter Sunday. By Easter Saturday, one of my flat mates – James (a close friend of mine) walked into my room that my mom called that my Daddy is not feeling well and we needed to come home to check him. I was like I spoke with him yesterday and already promised to be with him on Sunday but James was adamant that we should head home. So we got on the road. As soon as I got to my parent’s house, everything played out similarly to what I had seen in my dream but not the exact location and also pop was very much alive though sick. I was told they had taken him to the hospital so we headed to the Hospital. I had my other siblings come around too. The details of the event in the hospital are not what I want to write about.

I was a bit tensed knowing I had a dream though I felt I had dealt with but in my typical fashion, I will hardly discuss my dream with anyone. I felt drained and tired. I had not eaten anything tangible in 19 days. Somehow, I didn’t think my dream was about to happen. Maybe I was living in denial. My dad was admitted and we all went home with my cousin (Tunde) staying behind. Myself and James got home and didn’t really dwell on it. James is one of the most positive people I know so it is always good being around him. I went into my room and kept studying my bible and praying. Late that night I found out I couldn’t sleep. I felt a very thick cloud around me. I felt maybe it was as a result of the food I had not eaten in 20 days. I tried to pray but was too tired. I managed to get dressed in the morning for church as I was going to be ushering. In all of these, I wasn’t for once bothered about my Dad’s health. I was convinced that has been dealt with. Let me mention that I have seen answers to prayers. I have prayed to God to have a Birthday party. I have prayed to God to have my parent’s street graded because I wanted to have a birthday party and I have friends coming from all over. When the street got graded, I prayed for a bit of rain to reduce the dust (it hardly rains in February in Nigeria). I have prayed to God and see exam questions in my dream. I have prayed to God to end ASUU strike and it happened (those that went to OAU will understand what ASUU strike meant to us). So, I was coming with an experience of answered prayers. Common I was confident in God or maybe I had an entitlement mindset.

After church, I broke my fast and I got a call from my older brother that Dad needed to be moved to another Hospital and requested I meet the family there. I still didn’t see any urgency. I was convinced and full of faith or so I thought. I eventually got up and hit the road. On getting to the Hospital, felt like a family reunion. My older brother’s friends came around, James came around and my other siblings were around. As it got darker, the nurses requested we leave. My older brother- Bankole offered to stay back. The nurses had mandated my mom to go back home as she had sprained her leg for weeks and had it bandaged. When Bankole offered to stay back, I decided to stay back too. I am not one that could stay within Hospital premises but Bankole is one of the strongest people I know and I am talking in terms of faith so when he offered to stay, I felt I would be in good company. As the night got darker, myself and Bankole were called in to wheel my dad to run a couple of tests. As I wheeled him, I felt he deteriorated within hours. After those tests, he was kept on a bed and had a couple of fluids passed to him. As he slept, I went into the car to nap as I felt incredibly drained and woke up intermittently to check up on him. According to Bankole, at 2am. Dad removed all the drips and said he wanted to go home asking what he was doing in the hospital. That appeared shocking to us because prior to that, he looked quite frail even though this happened within 24hrs but he mustered enough strength to sit up and tried standing on his feet but on our appeal, we got him back on the bed. As soon as he went back to bed, I went to nap in the car again. Sounds like the disciples of Jesus who couldn’t stay awake with him for at least an hour.

As early as 7am the following morning, my entire siblings had returned to the hospital. The nurses had to mandate my mom to return home because of her sprained leg. At around past 9am, I got down from the car to see my dad again and as I approach the building, I saw Bankole walk out and uttered those words: Daddy has passed on. I didn’t know what to feel – Anger or Disappointment? The dream I had has just come true. I think I felt both Anger and Disappointment but to whom will I address my anger? I called one of the leaders in my ushering unit and I said I thought you guys told us to fast? Is this what fasting does? I just really couldn’t cry at that point. I didn’t have the strength to. I have lost my Dad. Just like that at 62? Ten years down the line, it feels like yesterday and I keep desiring even if it is just the last night before you passed on. I really wish I could have that back. I kept wondering if he knew how much I loved him. I kept wondering if he knew how much I would miss him. I have wondered for ten years what you felt like? I have wondered if the Death Angel appeared to you or was it Jesus?  I have wondered if you passed through a dark tunnel. Did you go straight to heaven? Were you scared? Did you fight to stay alive or did you just embrace the other world not minding if we would miss you? Now that you are gone, are you aware that I saw your death in my dream prior to it happening? Do you see my foolishness? Do you see my failures? Do you see my successes? Are you aware of how frustrated I get sometimes? Do you know the things I deal with? Did you deal with them? I am going to be honest here, you seem to make the other side look attractive though there is no rush. Ten years went in a flash but hardly any day passes without thinking that you are the reason why we have made it this far.

In all honesty, we never really understood your struggles until you left but to be fair to myself, I think I had an idea. Isn’t it funny how we often applaud people for what they accomplished but never give them credits for what they survived. You stuck out your neck for us. Your words are coming so true. Not that we agreed on everything but your words come so true. I hope to write on me misunderstanding you and vice-versa someday. How you thought I was too vain. How you thought all I was interested in were the superficial things of life. **smiles**. That is far from the type of son you raised.

Success doesn’t really feel like success when the person that set you on the path of success is not there to share the glory with you. While I miss you every single day, I miss you most during my failures and successes. Truly no one ever recovers from the death of a loved one but we patch it up and live through it. Yours left me with more questions than answers. Yours changed my entire life.