There is always that feeling that the unfamiliar lady with the perfect curvilinear gives a lot more satisfaction than the familiar wife of our youth. In my own case I am an adventurer and my “Christian beliefs” justifies exploring many options that are available to me except that the same “Christian Belief” would only allow me make some moves based on Edict from the Most High. However, I read on the pages of the Bible – “teach us to number our days that we may apply our heart to wisdom.” As a result, I am always conscious of maximizing all of the opportunities that presents itself to me. Not that I have taken 100% advantage of these opportunities, but I try my best.

Tired of my familiar wife, I decided to go after this pretty vivacious mistress of mine that has been flirting with me.  A lot she has to offer which my familiar wife presently could not give either because of her upbringing and exposure or because she has just decided to be who she is. My restlessness wouldn’t let me hence I moved out of my own home and got a place together with my mistress. I lie not, there is a lot my mistress has to offer. She offered me a lot rest. We sync in many areas. We were rarely late for dates. 60mins to me was 60mins to her. She really didn’t require me to work so hard before seeing the results of my hard work however the expected results soon became predictable. Dinner was always set at the table by 7pm and breakfast was ready at 7am. She made the entire trajectory of my life seem very monotonous and predictable. Life with her seem easy and initially it seemed to be all that I have always wanted but I knew something was still missing: The connection with my wife.

My wife is not the sweetest of folks to be around. She troubled my life a whole lot but we have some kind of strong connection. Myself and my wife could argue over the simplest things written on the pages of a book in black and white but we maintained a strong connection that I couldn’t explain or teach anyone as I discovered every time I have tried to explain this, I was never understood. However my Mistress kept calling for me. I ticked all the boxes to make my wife as attractive as possible. Liposuction and all that but it appeared my Mistress had a spell on me.

Days turned into months, months turned into years living with my Mistress but I kept missing my wife. Don’t get me wrong, my Mistress is any guy’s dream. She is a fine fox! She is my Still Waters and I dare say if I hadn’t met my wife before meeting my mistress, I probably would have no reason to want to leave my mistress but I kept missing my wife’s madness, I missed the idea of her potentials. However, I enjoy the calmness that my mistress offers me.

As I sat at my desk today at work, I stumbled on the classic old song by Onyeka Onwenu – One Love. I really can’t remember how old/young I was when the song was topping the Nigerian music chart but I remember vividly the music video. I played it repeatedly with my ears plugged till I began to move my body to the rhythm of the beats.

In the course of my day, after so many contemplations, I concluded that I will be polygamous on this note and I hope God is gracious enough to forgive me and no apologies to whosoever is offended. I have an unending love for my wife. A love that dwarfs distance and binds time. However, I love the comfort my mistress offers and as a result I decided Nigeria will forever be my legal wife till death do us apart while Canada will forever be that mistress to me.

I guess some of you reading this were probably secretly hoping that I finally confessed. Shior! No dirt!

I always knew I am Nigerian despite the seemingly deplorable state of my country

Richard Lakes